Chapter 371: Addicted to sugar…

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There are five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I am in the stage two. VERY ANGRY. So angry, that I decided to skip bargaining.

I won’t bargain. You tried to kill me? I will make you evaporate. I will go on for as long as it takes to get you out of my system.

It is difficult. I wake up with a bouncing headache, that follows me along for the whole day. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t stay awake during the day, cry uncontrollably about everything.

It feels like a monstrosity larger than a three stories building attached herself to me, feeding off my juice. Once in a while it takes a break and I get out of prostration, able to work, able to write.

This monstrosity is so real that I literally feel when it stops feeding. I feel her heavy body rolling back, like a fat nasty tick full of my blood, a tick the size of a house. This is the hardest battle I fought so far.

I’ve lost so many times. I am not going to ruin this one. I am so tired of you, you filthy parasite, that I have no strength left to keep you as my pet. I have no choice but to let you go. I do not care how much it hurts. You will dry out trying to keep me a slave.

On May 14, I and my friend D decided to go on a spring detox. A simple procedure of a sugar-free diet.

This is my attempt #100 to quit sugar. During the first 2 weeks, I slipped twice. No. Three times. Today is day 5 of being sugar-free.

It hurts. I cry. I am very angry. No cravings for sugar. Merely pain-induced rage against it.

For the first time in months do I hear the gentle voice of Coco : “Once get rid of her, you get rid of everything that keeps you slave, my love.”


For ages, I am fighting the windmills of my own limiting beliefs to follow the path of my heart. The ‘reality’ keeps getting in the way. I don’t give up, because in the depth of my soul I know that Victory is Inevitable!

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6 Replies to “Chapter 371: Addicted to sugar…”

  1. Good for you! Don’t beat yourself up for slipping…what’s important is you don’t give up! I am also a sugar addict, and I know how bad it is for me. But at least you’re trying! I ate a bowl of peanut M&Ms last night, and poured 3 spoonfuls into my coffee this morning. 😂 Also, great descriptive writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Rachel, thank you for your support! After those 5 days of feeling like dying, I hope that my new learned disgust for cake and chocolate remains. 🙂 I absolutely don’t want to go through it again. 😀 Much love. Julia


      1. Thank you Rachel! It feels like the ice broke. Got acne under my nose the size of Texas (never have it normally). Meaning some toxins are leaving and it works 😀


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