Today is 12 months since I have dumped this Gollum. He has been drinking my blood long enough. His voice in my head 24/7. I would wake up and smoke one. I would have a breakfast and smoke one. I would smoke one on my way to work. I would smoke one every second hour. I would smoke several ones while on the phone. I would chain smoke if in stress. And boy I was in stress all the time!
One day Coco had the courtesy to tell me that I do stink and I don’t notice. I quit. And then I started again. And then I quit and started again. And then I quit.
When I look at my past two years, this thought gives me courage to go on: I managed to do unmanageable! I quit smoking for good! And if I have managed to quit smoking – it means everything is possible! It means that I will manage dropping those 60 pounds and that I will manage to earn this first million!
While quitting I have learned that it takes several attempts to get something done. If you are lucky or extremely well prepared, you may succeed at the first attempt. But few do. The trick is to keep trying, knowing that you will fail another hundred of times.
This is why I believe it does not make sense to tell the world about your intentions. When I was quitting – I did not tell anybody. I was quitting and failing and trying again, lots of times! And guess what – there was nobody around me who would point finger at me and say – you may as well stop trying, you just can not make it. Why? Because nobody knew I was trying to quit smoking. I would have no fear to disappoint anybody, or to loose my face due to series of failures. I would feel very clear that I AM ALLOWED TO FAIL and that each and every failure brings me closer to quitting. And then one day out of nowhere I just stopped smoking and never looked back.
We are being taught to create artificial social pressure by announcing to the whole world our intentions to achieve something. But in reality do we really need the swarm of those humid eyes all full of pity each and every time we fall from the bike? We would never learn how to ride a bike in the first place.
I am happy today. 12 months ago after series of failed attempts out of nowhere I dumped the Gollum, I quit smoking!
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