This one memory hit me today. And I have to share it with you as for it is somehow extremely important. I am not even sure how and why. What I am sure about is that I’ve found my blueprint for happiness.
I have been born high up North, just few steps away from the Polar Circle to a family of German minority. Cold weather was a common thing and we loved it as children. Our homes were warm, so warm in fact that we could wear sleeveless shirts inside.
In 1989 the country changed. Nobody would have noticed, if not for our money becoming worthless and people losing their life savings (although I did not understand back then what it really means). Nobody would have noticed if not for streets becoming unsafe to the point of screaming out loud. Nobody would have noticed if not for stores going literally empty. You could not purchase anything even if you would have money, as for there was nothing to purchase, thousands of square feet of empty shelves. And on the top of that our central heating half disappeared. Why half? Because we would have heating half of the winter days, and no heating for another half. Don’t try it with minus 30 degrees Celsius outside.
This is when I learned to dislike cold. This is when my parents decided to repatriate.
In the end of August my mother told me that we are leaving on November 16th.
What does it mean? It means that we are packing and leaving not to come back ever again. It means that we are going to start a new life 2883 kilometers to the West. It means that I will leave everything I have, my friends, my boyfriend…
On the 1st of September I went to the university as if nothing has happened. Two weeks later the following question emerged: What are you doing here, visiting all these stupid classes while your time with your friends; your time with your boyfriend is limited? You will repatriate on November 16th to never come back! What are you doing here? So I quit.
Starting with this day I did not have to go anywhere. I could do whatever I want! The whole day long!
At the same time my parents finished the renovation of our family apartment. What was dragging on for two years – has been finished in a matter of three weeks. Our family apartment became beautiful and cozy. Finally I have got my own room. And my sister has got hers. My room was WARM and lit in yellow warm light. I have invited my boyfriend to move in and to live with me until the 16th of November. He moved in and we have been together all the time.
With all the free time we went to all these beautiful places I’ve never been before. My friends were visiting one after another and we had meaningful conversations. I felt extremely happy. This is not the single moment of happiness I have ever experienced. But at that time I felt extremely happy. I had my yellow-light cozy warm room. My boyfriend was living with me. We were in love. We had enough money to travel and see things. We did not have to work. We were surrounded by friends. We had no obligations. This felt amazing!
It felt amazing to be warm, to be in love, to have a cozy little room, to have no obligations, to have no worries about money, to travel, to be with family and friends.
This is my blue print now. I know that I am happiest when warm, in love, in my own cozy place, with no worries about money, travelling at wish, surrounded by my family and friends.
It sounds very basic. I know. It is. It is also extremely profound. This is how the best things in life are: profoundly basic.