Chapter 140: Breaking may as well be the beginning of …

I used to be a vicious workaholic.

This is one of the reasons why I gained 67 pounds extra weight in the past.

I used to be under constant stress at levels which stopped being funny…

I used to be consciously afraid all the time…

Afraid of Something…

The name of this Something was Failure.

Yet through this “highly functional” constant state of panic, thank God, I managed to hear Coco’s voice.

“The question,”- she said, – “is not how much you can handle before you break. The question is how much you can handle once you have broken.”

She also said: “Find mentors who are successful at what you want to do. Learn from them. Do it.”

And to top it off she said: “Say NO often”.

And I broke.

And I learned that breaking may as well be the beginning of healing…

At the moment that I had nothing to lose – everything became crystal clear.

Everything changed its colors.

It felt as if I was being born to a different reality. Real time.

I felt this transformation real time.

It is a paradox, but at the moment I had nothing to lose – fear left.

And once shades of perceived importance fall down,

The only true thing left was my family and friends.

I went and found few mentors.

The kind of mentors who have done it before.

Not the other kind.

I fired the other kind.

I started saying NO instead of saying nothing.

I accepted full commitment.

And fired everybody who did not.

I still like working.

But differently.

Not in the way which made me all burned out and obese.

I like working in the way which makes me full of warmth to share, which makes me all slender and svelte.

Warm, slender and svelte, like Coco.