I’ve used to be a real gratitude junkie, suffering each and every time from the real or imaginary absence of gratitude.
One day, as invasive and she is, Coco did tell me very direct, that I should stop suffering for the suffering’s sake. “The most ungrateful thing”, – Coco told me, “is to crave for gratitude. Gratitude should come from within, from our selves, not from the outside world. Everything we do should bring us such a joy, that we keep on going no matter the feed back from the outside.”
It is all about what we do, and not about who we do it for. People claiming the opposite are missing the point. Because everything we do – we do for ourselves.
We do things to experience positive feedback. Unfortunately the feed back we crave the most comes from the outside world. As long as we crave somebody else’s approval – we do give away our personal power. The key is to engage in activities that bring us such a joy, that we keep on going no matter the feed back from the outside world.
Two years later, after this conversation with Coco – I am evaluating everything I do from the perspective of sheer joy it brings me.
I play My Secret Online Fitness Game with you – pure joy for me. I see women getting fit, claiming back their personal power. Imagine, no one would ever thank me for that – I would barely notice because playing the game with you is so much fun!
I help new fashion labels to manufacture their garments – pure joy for me. I see top quality, gorgeous, high performing clothing appear out of nowhere. I see how proud the label owners are of their products. Imagine, no one would ever thank me for that – I would barely notice because I love crafting garments so much and it pays well.
I try to do fun activities that are not gratitude sensitive:
- Activities involving my muse, doing which is a blessing in itself: My Secret Online Fitness Game and Perfect Tights are great examples to name a few.
- Well organized profitable activities. (In case you wonder: profitable but not well organized activities don’t exist). Well organized means among other things that an activity requires minimum involvement of my time if any.
Today I invite you to do the following exercise.
I invite to evaluate your activities and to decide which ones are to stay in your life and which ones are to go.
Step 1: Take your journal, blog or a piece of paper. Draw three columns. In the first left column, write down everything you do on daily basis (work and leisure).
Step 2: In the center column, answer the following question for each activity: Do I crave gratitude for this activity from the outside world? Yes or No?
Step 3: In the third column, answer the following question for each activity: Do I get gratitude for this activity from the outside world? Yes or No?
Follow the table below to see which activities have to go and which ones are to stay.
|Activity||Crave?||Get?||Stay or go?|
|Activity #4||YES||NO||GO VS. GET BETTER PAY|
Activities you are getting plenty of outside world gratitude for are there to stay. Why not?
Activities you are willing to do without any gratitude from the outside world are there to stay. They bring you such a joy, that you keep on going no matter what.
Activities you are craving gratitude for, while not getting enough gratitude from the outside world are there to go. In the case of work related activities, better pay can compensate for the absence of gratitude. If no payment can compensate for the absence of gratitude – change your job to one which excites you to a point no gratitude from the outside world is needed.
What activities are to go from your life? Let me know in the comments!
Baby J (The Perfect Queen)
This and more great exercises in My Secret Online Fitness Game! Not in the game yet? Let me know in the comments!