Chapter 198: A blessing to forget…

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If you wake me up at night and ask me why did I want to lose weight in the first place, I may give you a sound answer, however…

No matter what it is I would tell you – it will not be the real reason.
I’ve been blessed to forget the real reason.

I’ve remembered this real reason recently while watching one of my earliest Queen’s Quest introduction videos. This one reason is so much out of my life – not only can’t I relate to it anymore, I simply do not remember it!

My main reason to lose weight were tornadoes of negative ever-spinning thoughts in my head. No matter what I did – these thoughts were following me each and everyday day for as long as I was awake. Those thoughts were about my looks, about my ugliness, about how fat I am. Incredible. I would walk down the street and think that each and every woman passing by thinks how fat and ugly I am. It is silly. But I had them. And it was suffocating.

Those thoughts, I wanted them gone!  – Though my main reason to lose weight. 

Once I’ve lost my first 10 pounds –  dark thoughts disappeared altogether. So much so, that I do not remember them unless I am being reminded by some blog post or my own video from the past.

I want you to understand that getting rid of dark negative thoughts about yourself is more of a Victory than any weight loss itself. 

If you have not done it yet – write down each and every dark negative thought crossing your mind. Or put them in the comments to this post.

I know – the time comes when these thoughts disappear for good. I want you to be able to go back to your post, read it and understand with your whole self what a blessing it is to be free of uncontrollable negativity. 

Much love,
J

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