Saying NO hurts.
Not saying NO hurts even more.
All trouble I used to get into happened because I did not say NO at the right time.
Coco taught me this one simple rule how to decide whether something is a YES or a NO.
Does it excite you? – You may say YES! It does not excite you? – Say NO!
– Look around you, – Coco asked me two years ago. – You are working long hours every day. Does it excite you?
– Depends on what?
– Depends on a customer I am working with.
– Do you have customers who do not excite you?
– I do.
– Say NO to them! Now!
– But how? I need this business!
– You do not need any business which does not excite you.
– Do you live in a house that excites you, J? – Coco went on with her interrogation.
– No. It is a flat and I want to have a house with a garden.
– Say NO to the flat. Go get a house with a garden!
– Does your health condition excite you, J?
– No it does not.
– Say NO to bad habits. Claim back your personal power!
And she went on and on, going through each and every aspect of my life.
I have to say as blessed as I am, my most difficult areas were:
1) My physical condition
2) Social life (or better to say absence of such due to long working hours middle in a Chinese village, far away from my family and friends)
3) And type of customers I was serving.
So I’ve said NO to cigarettes. I’ve said NO to alcohol. I’ve said NO to long working hours. I’ve said NO to lack of exercise. I’ve even said NO to self pity. All these were easy. I mean, it was difficult – but on the scale from 0 to 10 I would give it a 2.
There was something more profound I’ve said NO to. I’ve said NO to all existent business and new business opportunities which did not excite me. And this is a 10+ on the scale from 0 to 10.
When you have a business which runs and brings you income – it is very scary to let it go. I always thought any income is good. So as long as my customers want to produce with me, I will accept their business no matter what type of garment they want to produce, no matter their manufacturing frequency, no matter their personality.
– You are taking orders for money’s sake. – Though Coco. Random orders for the sake of money are called ‘Road Kill’. – Though Coco. – Say NO to the ‘Road Kill’ Baby Je! – Though Coco.
With fear running through my veins I’ve said NO to all abrasive customers first; the ones who couldn’t control their temper. It is a major relief to stop seeing hysterical folks! 😀
With fear running through my veins I’ve said NO to all customers who could not commit to a monthly production schedule. – ‘If a business owner can’t plan her or his monthly product demand – they do not have a business. You want to manufacture for ladies and gents who run a real business, my dear J.’ – Though Coco.
Once I’ve said NO to each and every ad-hoc order and started working with fixed production schedules – the whole world changed! This one very scary NO was one of the most important NOs I’ve ever said.
What NOs do you have to say? Tell me in the comments! If you do not know how to figure it out – ask yourself this one simple question: Does this excite me? Or even better question: Do I want to die while doing this? If you do not feel ok to die while doing something – say No to it TODAY!
Baby J (The Perfect Queen)
P.S. Here are some ideas I came up with how to say NO.
- Single step No: No.
- Two step No: No. I can’t. – Why can’t you? – Because I don’t want. (‘I can’t because I don’t want’ brings people into logical stupor and discourages them to continue asking).
- Asian NO: I will think about it, but NO. (What? You see! Same stupor again 🙂
Do you know of better ways to say NO? Post in the comments!